Emily

Get a facebook already!
Forgotten your email hun, how am I to keep in touch????
Get facebook, search my full name (Korb), friend me, and then I will constantly be annoying you with little messages. Trust me!

xoxoxoxox em

Today I saw what the universe is really made of. When atoms are ripped apart from the seams of existence. I was in a hyperreality, I was a puppet in God's little divertissements. I was a shell, and every single act made and in the future was predetermined. It was like I was caught in the great zipper that was life and as the zipper fastened its cogs, everything fell into place, forcefully. Little coloured men and women were the atoms that created anything, and they were pissed off that I had waken up to this metaexistence. They told me that there was nothing I could do, everything was already determined, and now that I knew the truth, there was no returning to what I had previously thought was reality. I had no friends, interests, loves outside the vast zippers that controlled everything. It was a horrible sensation. I got so depressed and anxious, and with much trouble pushing through the air, I crawled into bed, covered myself with my doona, and tried to block out this new reality.



Dudes, search out this drug called Salvia.
It will be the most amazing trip you will ever experience.

OMFG. Youtube 'Wizard People' and watch! Brad Neely also does some funny clips about Washington and JFK. Good stuff.

Right. There is a game I'm playing here at the coop called Assassination. Contestants' names are pooled together and each person is assigned a 'target' and on the flipside, everyone has an assassin on their ass. Kills are done with water: pistols, balloons, cups etc. Once you have killed your assigned target, you assume theirs. Immunity is only your room and the kitchen, if you can get to it.

So this has been going on for a few days now and yesterday, my assassin lurked outside my room for six hours -- I had just woken up and I couldn't piss, eat or do anything, until I snuck out at an opportune moment! Craziness! Now the competition pool has whittled down to about 20% of original, and my new assassin has tried to bribe my friends ($20) to tell him where I am. Goddamnit. There are too many cocky, punky, arrogant boys here at my coop, always posturing about shirtless. Wrestling in boxers at the drop of a hat. Raving about their last hit of acid. Now they are ganging up. Shit.

I had a deep fried pickle the other day.

Cellulite at 21 is really unnerving.

Ha! The first two days of the new term have been canceled because of 'inclement weather conditions.' Ie, the weather has been minus 1 degree celsius and there is a bit of frost on the roads.

Yeehah! Gotta love the South!

Right so i used to live across the street from some pretty druggy people, but as of today I am living next door to a drug dealer! Score!

Yes I think I will.

So not only are mains called entrées here, but I recently found out that Marinara sauce here is what is called Napolitan sauce everywhere else in the world. No seafood at all. How retarded.


Other things that annoy me:
-- The term ¨sandwich¨here encompasses what we know as sandwiches AND burgers.
-- My Philadelphia cheesesteak turned out to be shaved meat topped with whiz (terrible gloopy orange Kraft cheese from a tin) on a sugary white hotdog bun. (Tasted great but)
-- I cannot escape annoying law people from Melbourne, even here in Pennsylvania. Goddamnit.
--Inescapable white and black trash. I think on the train today I sat next to a man who had shat himself. Either that or his breathe smelt surprisingy like faeces. Today walking around central Philly I felt like a queen amongst plebs after New York. All I saw were classless folk of all colours -- they are easily recognisable by the following traits:

They are hideously overweight and if female wear tight clothing revealing camel toes, back fat, side fat, front fat etc.
If white, many a man´s style icon is Kfed. But he at least is good looking if you can look past his clothes, personality, music, choice of spouse etc. Black people can pull off the hip hop look. Wiggers only use are as objects of derision.
They all seem to have those wireless headsets attached to their ears. Weird.
They cannot or will not restrain their obnoxious, rowdy children on trains. How annoying. And I am much too much of a wimp to say anything because I envision myself being stabbed and then robbed.

I'm reading the paper online and click on the article 'Interpol joins search for serial UK killer', thinking "Wow! How is the American band going to help track a killer in the UK? They're cooler than I thought!...."